I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
