So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
