so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Randomize