Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
