I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day šš#pensacolaproblems
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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