if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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