who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
