yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
