i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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