East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
