First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
