i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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