The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am available for nakedness
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize