yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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