Who did Billy Mays play for?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
