If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
you made out with another girl for some wings
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize