i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
