She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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