I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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