C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
