girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
