just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize