NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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