AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize