if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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