had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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