My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
