Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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