Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
