He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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