Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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