she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
