He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
