so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
