Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
