we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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