Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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