i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
