I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
