I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My life is pants optional.
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