i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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