Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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