ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
