Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
