I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
