i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
