If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
