i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
