Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
