i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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