woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
