how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
