Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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