She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize