Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
