Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
