real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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