Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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