Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
