i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize