lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
bring money and cleavage
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
