Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize